The most important decluttering we can make is to remove mental clutter. Mental clutter is anything going around in your head, that is keeping you from achieving your dreams. Having a tidy, uncluttered house is great, but achieving the goals that you set at the beginning of this course will not be possible unless we tackle the mental clutter.
Mental clutter comes in the forms of any thoughts that keep us from moving forward. These thoughts are based on fear and misunderstanding. In order to illustrate the importance of understanding and overcoming these, I will use examples from the journey of my friend, whom I will call "Bob".
Fear was what kept Bob in a situation that was less than ideal, for 10 years. He was unhappy in his job, but he was afraid to look for another one. Bob was afraid that he would not be successful. Bob lived in a town that he didn't love, because he was afraid to try and sell his house and try to get financing for another one. Bob wanted to live in a warmer climate, but he was afraid to move somewhere unfamiliar. Bob felt like he was "stuck" in his situation, but it was really the mental clutter that was keeping him stuck.
Here are the steps to removing mental clutter:
1. When we feel insecure, we do not move forward.
A lot of Bob's fear was caused by doubts about himself. He doubted his ability to do his job, so he doubted that he could get a different job. He doubted his ability to adapt to a new place, so he was afraid to move. He felt insecure as a parent, so he doubted his ability to raise his daughter through a period of changes. The insecurities fed the fears.
2. Our insecurities are based on misunderstandings about ourselves.
And all of these fears were based on misunderstandings that Bob held about himself. Bob did not believe that he could be successful. He misunderstood a lot of his tendencies and came to believe that he was lazy, disorganized, and awkward. There were different reasons for the behaviors that led to these beliefs, but Bob was not able to see them.
3. We should question those misunderstandings that lead to fear.
Limiting beliefs run very deep, and we can't just reject them. The solution lies in redefining them. Look at any negative thought or fear that you have, and really question it and look deeply.
Here's an example from Bob's story. Bob was afraid to look for a new job, because ge felt insecure in his ability to do his job. One of the reasons that Bob felt insecure was that he believed that he was lazy and disorganized. But, for the sake of this exercise, what if Bob were to assume that this belief is incorrect? What other reasons could there be for his behavior?
4. The assumptions that don't make sense can be redefined.
Well, first, let's look at the assumption that he is lazy. Bob thought he was lazy, because he was often too tired to get his work done on time. But if that behavior is not happening because Bob is lazy, why is it happening? What other reasons could there be? Well, Bob knew he was unhappy in his situation, and stress and unhappiness can lead to a lack in motivation. In fact, Bob noted that he was quite motivated with his writing, and didn't engage in the same procrastinating behaviors.
Bob was also assuming that he was disorganized. He thought this, because his desk was always a mess. But what else could cause this? Bob looked deeper and realized that the mess was due to the fact that he was unhappy and overwhelmed, leading him to be less focused.
Sometimes it takes a lot of work to redefine a limiting belief, but it is always worth it. When you believe in yourself, it is much easier to make your dreams come true.
For helping identifying and redefining fears, insecurities, and limiting beliefs, sign up now for a low-cost e-mail, chat, or Skype session.